Monday, November 22, 2010

Four Lokos

I'm not sure if Four Lokos are the best or the worst thing ever invented. On one hand you have an energy infused alcoholic beverage that "REALLY FUCKS YOU UP" but on the other hand you have an energy infused alcoholic beverage that "REALLY FUCKS YOU UP." There is no in between with Four Lokos. I think it's fantastic that this beverage makes pregaming a fast and painless event. For instance; I get off work late sometimes, and pregaming is out of the question. Going to a bar sober is also out of the question so what's a brother to do? I'll tell you what this brother does...CHUG A FOUR LOKOS! Now, the pregame is complete within 3 minutes, I will be buzzed going to the bar and because of the power of the Four Lokos alcoholic content, I won't buy half as many expensive drinks; thus saving me $$$. It's sad that people across the nation have put Four Lokos under such intense scrutiny, clearly they don't understand how to properly "rage." Anyone who has been injured or killed by Four Lokos had the right idea, but they went just a little too hard. Once you find the right dosage of Four Lokos (mine is 2.5 cans) not only can you rage to your fullest potential, you will see your database of awesome stories increase ten fold.

NEWS FLASH: Due to Congress exuding douchebaggery, the new age Four Lokos will be reformulated with no caffeine (but will maintain the same amount of alcohol) so if you want the same buzz either call your favorite local amphetamine dealer, or chug your choice of energy beverage along side your Four Lokos! DRINK UP!