Thursday, November 18, 2010

Marriage

"Til death do you part." The most broken verbal contract in the history of mankind. It should say, "Til boredom and hatred do you part." Marriage is an outdated institution (I know it's sad but it is also very true). I saw a statistic today that 40% of people under 30 years old believe that marriage is obsolete. This also means that people under the age of 30 have no hope. Marriage has become a business more than anything else. You get married, you buy things together, you share your finances, you stop having sex, you get pissed, you get divorced and then somehow your lawyer sucks and you lose all your shit. Just the thought of MONOGAMY is really just not that appealing. They say the reason a man gets down on his knee to propose is so he can look the vagina in the eye to make sure that it is in fact "The one." I am a hopeless romantic. I wish marriage and true love could be everything I've ever read about or seen. However, I am also a realist and I understand that life happens and people change. Marriage is not exempt from this rule, in fact it seems to be the prime example.

P.S. I'm not being a douche, I really hope myself and all others can find true love and be happily married until the end of time. Like if I had one wish, that would be my wish.



Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Chinese Food

I don't really need to say much here because the video will say it all. Chinese food is scary yet so delicious...


Monday, November 15, 2010

Man Day

The day of the man. A day in which females are (for the most part) forbidden, a day in which male bonding is the only thing on the agenda. A man day typically takes place on a Saturday or Sunday. It's the perfect combination of live football, fantasy football, Call of Duty, a plethora of chicken wings, Pizza, and maybe some sort of grilled meat topped off with a fountain of beer. Man days are the beginning of a beautiful week ahead or the end of a terrible week. They make problems less painful and they make girls more tolerable (when you're not having sex). If man days didn't exist, men wouldn't be the same. The power balance in the universe might be shifted and Barbara Streisand could very well be the leader of the free world. With her voice and her nose, How could men stop her??


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Video Games

Video games (specifically first player shooter games) are a nerds way of virtually beating the shit out of other people. They can't do it in real life, so they have to do it in an arena where the playing field is (mostly) even. Nerds will stop at nothing to get kills. They will slice you, grenade you, shoot you and even noob tube you. The battlefield is ruthless out there and if you're not ready...YOU WILL GET PWNED. I try to play these games (specifically COD Black Ops) and I pretty much die every 45 seconds. It's frustrating to suck as much as I do, but for some reason I keep on playing. It feels really good to virtually kill nerds, like really, really good. It's a feeling that girls will never understand because while us men are virtually killing each other, they are sitting, texting their friends about how much they hate video games...