Thursday, September 30, 2010

Hippies

The Glory days of being a hippie are over, but that doesn't mean that they aren't out there. The hippies of today are a spiritual people who talk with love and compassion (in a really, really strange way). Judge them as you may, I have a feeling they're happier than all of us. All they need in life is love, peace, maybe a little ganja, some good music and organic...Everything. So simple and so understanding compared to us mainstreamers who can't go a day without road rage and dropped call drama. I'm not saying I want to be a hippie, I just wish I could be as happy as a hippie, a hippie eating organic oatmeal while talking directly to the higher Chakras that is.


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Poor Grammar

So there is nothing that frosts my cookies more than some ignant ass douche that uses poor grammar. Now when it comes to writing, I can handle some bad punctuation, or some minor grammatical errors because if you have read my blog I'm sure you may have found some mistakes. I apologize full heartedly, but I too am only human. However, when you're talking to me face to face, talk like a normal human being please. "I seen that movie inception the other day, that shit was tight." Is an example of precisely what I hate. I understand your enthusiasm for such a fantastic movie, but I'm quite certain you saw that movie, or maybe you have seen it prior to our encounter; but I do know for a fact that you did not seen that movie. I used to like the New Orleans Saints as an organization, but as soon as they started the "WHO DAT" campaign I can no longer support them, due to their poor usage of grammar. "Who dat gonna beat them there Superbowl Saints?" I'm not sure who is going to defeat those Superbowl champion New Orleans Saints, but I'm sure someone will try their hardest to do so. It's the little things like that which make the United States seem so ignant to the rest of the world, and to me, it's embarrassing us as a country and as a people in general. If you honestly can't even speak our own language properly, it is an indication that you will probably fail at life (unless you can rap better than Lil' Wayne). Now, if you happen to be one of those individuals who uses poor grammar because you think it makes you sound more thug, or it makes you feel cool on the inside, just stop. You sound like an idiot. You are not a thug and you probably never will be. No one will take you seriously and the nicest piece of property you will ever own will be the GE refrigerator box you find in the Big Lots dumpster. If you're cool with that then more power to you, enjoy bein' an ignant ass douche for the rest of your existence.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Blacking Out

I would love to actually talk about blacking out, but I was so wasted I completely forgot what happened...FML?!
It's not just you and me, even the most legendary Philosophers and Poets of Greek history blacked out a time or two...



Monday, September 27, 2010

Fate

So today I decided to get metaphysical on yo' ass, by talking about fate. Is everything predetermined? Are we just living our lives with zero control over what happens next? These questions will probably never be answered by anyone haha so I'm not going to try. What I am going to do however is shed some light on the situation through one simple example, I'll give you my opinion, and you can draw your own conclusions. Let's examine the lifespan of a frog. The frog is hatched in water where it swims around as a tadpole/sperm looking bastard. It gathers nutrients and does various tadpole things which I cannot describe because I don't really know shit about them. This tadpole then miraculously changes into a frog that finds its new home on land where it eats bugs. The frog doesn't bother anyone, it just goes through life existing, munching on insects and acting like someone whose really high all the time. Let's say this little guy decides he's tired of chilling at his current location, so he decides to pack his shit and move. On this journey however; he must cross a street. He thinks to himself, "Fuck it, I've done this before and I'll do it again." He takes one hop in the street and...KABLAAAM....It's the last hop he ever takes. He's just been run over by a car. Popped like a pimple on the road and laid to bake into the asphalt until he is decomposed beyond recognition. Was this fate? Was this little frog who was just chillin', getting high with his friends alive, only to die at the tread of some low pro 22" Giovanna wheels? I don't know the answer to this question, but I think fate is bullshit. Everything has to die, one way or another and in this case, the frog got smushed by a tire plain and simple. If you think I'm a douche for saying that, let's look at the scale of fate when it comes to death. The amount of death in the world (for every single living organism) is simply an unfathomable number, so how then can there be a "fated" plan for every last living thing? I just don't believe that some superior force sat down and mapped out the lives of hundreds of trillions of living/once living things and developed a meaning for all of them. It just seems a wee bit unreasonable to me. If I were this superior being/force, I know I would just sit back smoke a divine blunt and watch all my creations do crazy shit with all their free will and instincts. What's the fun in knowing what's going to happen, especially when you're divine and you created everything to have specific qualities? If this divine being just let shit play out, it would be like watching the longest most epic movie of all time 24 hours 7 days a week for eternity. What divine being wouldn't want to sit back and watch that? Besides, the effort to make a fated life for everything would just be absurd, no one especially divine beings would waste that much time and effort. Below is a re-enactment of what a divine being may have looked like when planning the fate of some individuals...