Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Wine

Wine is definitely made from the urine of gods. Nothing as sweet as wine can make you feel the way wine makes you feel. It's not quite drunk and it's not quite high, it's more of a loose feeling, a happy feeling; a feeling of carelessness and excitement at the same time. If wine isn't considered an aphrodisiac, then let it be known I am officially making it an aphrodisiac. The only thing can happen when a man and a woman drink wine together...INTERCOURSE. That's it. Wine makes you feel so happy and good that the only thing you can do is bang. There needs to be a warning label on all bottles of wine that says, "Wine should not be consumed by anyone not looking to have children; this product may actually induce pregnancy." I have a feeling wine was the cause of many mistakes over the course of history. It's a very scary thought, but some of us may not be here today if wine had not been in the equation. A morbid truth, yes; but it's a truth nonetheless. Drink wine, and weird shit will happen. Here's the wine challenge... Drink a standard 750 ml bottle of wine with a guy/girl you may be "Fond of" and try not to have any sort of "Physical contact" occur. If you can honestly finish the bottle with no "Petting" then you're either a really big vagina and you won't make a move, or you cheated and drank with a platonic friend. Just remember, when wine is involved USE PROTECTION...We don't need another Bin Laden in the world.

*I reference Bin Laden because he was clearly a mistake baby. No one with any sort of good upbringing could do the things he did. All that hate comes from the fact that he probably realizes he was a mistake child..... The son of a "Wino" mistake child.


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