10. It's the only class 2 narcotic that parents will encourage their kids to take.
9. It's the only drug that affirms the belief that your life is going in the right direction.
8. When you take it, you won't cough, and you're face will not go numb.
7. It makes you feel smarter than "The Average Bear."
6. It is guaranteed not to cause the "Munchies" (in fact it makes you unhungry).
5. There is no such thing as an "Addy-head" unlike pothead, crackhead, meth-head, etc...
4. You have to take a test for the prescription (stupid people can't pass this test and thus cannot abuse it).
3. It gets you in "THE FUCKING ZONE."
2. It's the only drug you can buy in a library.
1. While you're on it, your work gets done, your room gets clean, your car gets washed, your checks get deposited, your laundry gets done, your nails get clipped, your shoes get polished, your ceiling fan gets dusted, your bathroom sink gets bleached, your resume gets updated, you'll call your mother, you'll call your father, you'll call the grandparents, and before you know it your entire life is in order. All that is just in the first hour too...