Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Smoking

Smoking is bad (unless you are wasted). I have no idea who invented smoking or why, but I never understood the habit. Of course I too have partaken in sucking down a cancer stick or two, but I can honestly say it always left me very unsatisfied. It usually occurred between the hours of 1-6 AM after a night of intense raging and utter shambles, but every time I finished one, my breath tasted like ass, and that's about it. No effect on the mind. No effect on the body. No hallucinations. Just a mouthful of cigarette-ass breath. And please don't get me wrong I'm no anti-smoking cock, I have no problem with people smoking around me; in fact I actually sort of enjoy the smell of cigarettes at a bar (unless its directly in my nostrils). I just don't understand and never will understand why people would want to smoke. In my view it serves no purpose other than an oral fixation and perhaps a desire for the smoker to look douchey. If I were to become a smoker it would be for one reason and one reason only, to get a Voice prosthesis. I don't know about you, but ever since I was a child I wanted to do robot things. I've tried dancing like a robot but then I just look like a r-tard, I've tried dressing like a robot but then I look like a silver r-tard, but if I could sound like a robot it would be good enough for me. The only thing that could get me to that point is...smoking, because after the "Laryngectomy" I could get a nifty new "Mechanical larynx" or as people where I come from say, "Cancer Kazoo." This would be the device to help me reach my robot goals, and the means to that would be Larynx Cancer from smoking them death sticks. To me that is the only reason to smoke and if you disagree then check this out...

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